Our Father, Who art in Heaven.
YES?

Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.
BUT -- YOU CALLED ME !!

Called You? No, I didn't call anyone. I'm reciting a prayer. Excuse me. And thanks a lot. Now I have to start over: (ahem).

Our Father Who art in Heaven
THERE -- YOU DID IT AGAIN!

Did what?
YOU CALLED ME. YOU SAID: "OUR FATHER, WHO ART IN HEAVEN." WELL, HERE I AM. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Oh! It's You! Yeah, but  I didn't mean anything by it. I was, You know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always recite the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like fulfilling a duty.
WELL, ALL RIGHT. GO ON.

Okay. Hallowed be Thy name...
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

By what?
HALLOWED.

It means, ummmm, it means ... good grief, I don't know what it means. How in the world should I know? It's just a part of the prayer. By the way, what does "hallowed" mean?
IT MEANS HONORED, HOLY AND WONDERFUL.

Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before. Thanks.
Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

Sure, why not?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT?

Doing? Why, nothing, I guess. I just think it would be kind of neat if You got control of everything down here like You have up there. We're kinda of in a mess down here You know.
YES, I KNOW; BUT, HAVE I GOT CONTROL OF YOU?

Well, I go to church.
THAT ISN'T WHAT I ASKED YOU. WHAT ABOUT YOUR BAD TEMPER? YOU'VE REALLY GOT A PROBLEM THERE, YOU KNOW. AND THEN THERE'S THE WAY YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY --ALL ON YOURSELF. AND WHAT ABOUT THE KIND OF TV PROGRAMS AND MOVIES YOU WATCH? 

Now hold on just a minute! Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of those other people at church!
EXCUSE ME. I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRAYING FOR MY WILL TO BE DONE. IF THAT IS TO HAPPEN, IT WILL HAVE TO START WITH THE ONES WHO ARE PRAYING FOR IT. LIKE YOU -- FOR EXAMPLE.

Oh, all right. I guess I do have a bad temper and I could be a better steward with my money and time. Those are some of my hang-ups I guess. Now that You mention it, I could probably name some others.
SO COULD I.

Oh yeah. Well I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things from my live. I would like to, You know, really be free.
GOOD. NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. WE'LL WORK TOGETHER -- YOU AND I. I'M PLEASED!

Look, Lord, if You don't mind, I really need to finish up here. This prayer is taking a lot longer than it usually does.
WELL THEN, BY ALL MEANS, CONTINUE!

Give us this day, our daily bread.
YOU NEED TO CUT OUT SOME OF THAT BREAD. YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT AS IT IS.

Hey, wait a minute! What is this? Here I am doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden You break in and remind me of all my faults and bad habits.
PRAYING CAN BE A DANGEROUS THING. IT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE. YOU JUST MIGHT GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR. REMEMBER, YOU CALLED ME -- AND HERE I AM. IT'S TOO LATE TO STOP NOW, SO KEEP PRAYING.

..pause...

WELL, GO ON.

Ummmm, I'm scared to.
SCARED? OF WHAT?

I know what You'll say next.
TRY ME.

Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.
WHAT ABOUT LINDA?

See!!!! I knew it! I knew You would bring her up! Why should I forgive her,Lord? She's told lies about me, and spread stories. She's broken our marriagee vows. I want to get even with her!
BUT -- YOUR PRAYER -- WHAT ABOUT YOUR PRAYER AND FORGIVENESS?

I didn't --ummmm, mean it.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE HONEST. BUT, IT'S QUITE A LOAD CARRYING AROUND ALL THAT BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT, ISN'T IT?

Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her. Boy, have I got some plans for her. She'll wish she had never been born!
NO, YOU WON'T FEEL ANY BETTER. IN FACT, YOU'LL FEEL WORSE. YOU KNOW HOW UNHAPPY YOU'VE BEEN. WELL, I CAN CHANGE THAT.

You can? How?
FORGIVE LINDA. THEN, I'LL FORGIVE YOU; AND THE HATE AND SIN WILL BE LINDA'S PROBLEM -- NOT YOURS. YOU WILL HAVE SETTLED THE PROBLEM AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED.

You know, You're right. You always are and I want to be right with You. Oh okay ... all right ....I forgive her. I forgive Linda.
THERE NOW! WONDERFUL! HOW DO YOU FEEL?

Hmmmm. Well, not bad. Not bad at all! I feel pretty good! In fact, I don't think I'll be all up-tight
tonight when I go to bed. I haven't been getting much rest, You know.
YES, I KNOW. BUT, YOU'RE NOT THROUGH WITH YOUR PRAYER YET, ARE YOU? GO ON.

Oh, all right. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
GOOD! GOOD! I'LL DO THAT! JUST DON'T PUT YOURSELF IN A SITUATION WHERE YOU CAN BE EASILY TEMPTED.

What do You mean by that?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Oh! Yeah. I know.....
OKAY. GO AHEAD. FINISH YOUR PRAYER.

For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY? WHAT WOULD REALLY MAKE ME HAPPY?

No Lord, but I'd like to know. I really do want to please You. I've made a mess of things and I need Your help. I want to truly trust and follow You. I understand now how great that would be. So, tell me Lord..... how do I make You happy?
YOU JUST DID